


Without

by Khylaren



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 09:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4175334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylaren/pseuds/Khylaren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haldir's final moments at Helm's Deep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to Fire’s challenge on the Elf Lust mailing list; Must be set at movie verse Helm's Deep, must focus on Haldir, must include Haldir's movie verse death (suggestion: Haldir talking to his lover, whether in fact or only in his mind)., Angst Level: High. Make me cry.  
> She gave us a song to inspire us, and the last bit here got to me. 
> 
> And then he looked into his lover's eyes and he cried  
> In the name of love  
> Still my bleeding heart  
> For the love of God  
> Still my bleeding heart  
> ~ “Still My Bleeding Heart”, lyrics by Steve Vai

I do not want to go on without you.

The rain pours over me, over us, as if the very heavens are weeping, and I taste the water upon my tongue, mixed with the salt of my tears and the blood of the enemy. I cannot grieve for you yet. I must fight for my life as their black forms pour over the walls, their crude and hoarse cries filling my ears. My sword rises of its own accord to meet with the blows of my enemy, driving it away from me, and away from you, my blood singing with fury as I drive my blade home. 

My sword was too slow to save you.

I do not want to go on without you, but still I fight on, bringing death to the black beasts that slew you, driving my sword into their foul forms until my hands are slick with their blood. Hate and fury drive me. Emptiness consumes me.

I hear Aragorn’s voice rise above the din of battle. “Na barad. Haldir! Na Baraad!”

I will not fall back. I will not retreat with the others. I will not leave you alone in all this darkness. Forgive me, my love. I could not save you, and I will not save myself.

Tears blur my vision as my sword rings against the blade of my enemy. Pain makes me cry out, screaming your name as I kill, blind in my rage and emptiness. They fall beneath my sword, and still more come, climbing over the walls in a relentless black wave. I know it is hopeless, but I do not care.

I do not want to go on without you.

The first blow takes me by surprise and I falter, turning to look at your fallen form. The second blow drives me to my knees. I crumble, fallen on my hands and knees. 

“Haldir!” I hear Aragorn’s cry, but I do not turn to look for him. My eyes can only see you. Your face is beautiful, my love, even death cannot steal it away. Strong arms are lifting me, turning me away, but I hold your face before me even as my vision fades.

Wait for me, my love. I am coming.


End file.
